Emotional intelligence in children: What it is, why it matters, and how to develop it.

There are many different factors that contribute to the raising of well-adjusted children. Emotional intelligence (EI), or emotional quotient (EQ), is one such factor that impacts the overall wellbeing and development of children. EI has been proposed to be at least as important as intellectual or cognitive intelligence (IQ) for children’s outcomes at home and at school (Goleman, 1995; Paavola, 2017).

Defining emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) can be defined as the ability to recognise, understand, manage, and effectively use one's own emotions, as well as understanding those of others (Budak & Arslan, 2013). It is generally viewed as an innate mental ability and can be developed, altered and nurtured at any stage of life but is critically developed in early childhood (Buckley, Storino & Saarni, 2003; Irvin & Richardson, 2002). EI generally involves three key skills:

· awareness of your own and others’ emotions;

· application of emotions to problem solving tasks; and

· the ability to regulate your own and others emotions (Paavola, 2017; Irvin & Richardson, 2002).

EI is both personal and social, and involves adaptation to the immediate environment to be able to cope with situational demands, making it, broadly speaking, more important for everyday functioning than cognitive intelligence (Grayson, 2013).

EI also encompasses several key components:

· Self-awareness - involves the ability to recognise and understand your own emotions and their impact. Managing and recognising emotions allows one to make better decisions in other aspects of life (Budak & Arslan, 2013).

· Self-regulation - the capacity to manage and control your emotional responses and reactions.

· Empathy - the ability to recognise and understand the emotions of others, and the capacity to respond with sensitivity to others emotions and feelings. It involves being able to put yourself in the place of another person and view things from their point of view (Budak & Arslan, 2013).

· Social skills - the ability to build and maintain positive relationships with others, including effective communication, conflict resolution, and cooperation. Being able to understand and manage the emotions of other people forms the basis of healthy communication and relationships (Budak & Arslan, 2013).

The significance of emotional intelligence in children

As EI influences both social and personal aspects of functioning, it is essential for children’s wellbeing and development in many areas of life, both at home and in school contexts. It is important to understand how EI influences the wellbeing, development and functioning of children in order to understand the value of fostering and developing EI in your child. EI has been found to be associated with the following outcomes:

1. Improved emotional wellbeing - Fostering EI in children plays an important role in promoting their emotional wellbeing. Children who possess a high level of EI are better able to identify and manage their emotions effectively. This self-awareness allows them to express themselves and seek help when necessary, leading to reduced stress, anxiety, and a higher sense of self-esteem (Thümmler, Engel & Bartz, 2022).

2. Enhanced interpersonal relationships - EI is especially important for building and maintaining healthy social relationships. Children with developed EI are better at recognizing and responding to the emotions of their peers and family members (Graziano, Reavis, Keane & Calkins, 2007). This skill promotes empathy, kindness, and understanding, which, in turn, leads to healthier and more positive relationships both at home and at school (Budak & Arslan, 2013; Graziano et al., 2007).

3. Improved academic performance - A child's EI has a direct impact on their academic performance. In school, EI allows students to understand their feelings of frustration or stress when faced with challenging tasks (Graziano et al., 2007). They can effectively manage these emotions and adapt to their learning environments. Emotionally intelligent children are better able to communicate with teachers and other students, seek help when needed, andwork together in group projects (Rohaizad & Kosnin, 2013). This leads to improved academic achievement and a more positive school experience (Billings et al., 2014).

4. Reduced behavioural problems - Children who have well-developed emotional intelligence tend to exhibit fewer behavioural problems at home and at school. Because they have a better understanding of their own emotions, so they are more likely to control their reactions to various situations. This results in fewer outbursts and tantrums, and less disruptive behaviour (Rohaizad & Kosnin, 2013). Emotionally intelligent children are also better able to resolve conflicts peacefully, which can reduce instances of bullying and aggression (Mavroveli & Sánchez-Ruiz, 2011).

5. Long-term success - The development of EI in childhood is essential for long-term success in life. Emotionally intelligent individuals are often better able to handle the challenges and complexities of adulthood, including personal relationships, workplace dynamics, and overall life satisfaction (Grayson, 2013).

Practical ways to foster emotional intelligence

Here are seven practical ways to promote emotional intelligence in children:

1. Model emotion regulation: Children learn by example. Demonstrate healthy emotional expression and regulation in your own life. Show them how to handle anger, sadness, and frustration in a constructive manner. When you make a mistake, acknowledge it and apologise, teaching them that it's okay to make errors and take responsibility for them.

2. Help them recognise emotions: Help children identify and label their emotions. You can do this through simple conversations, asking them how they feel and why. You can also use books or media that depict various emotions and discuss the characters' feelings.

3. Teach active listening: Encourage and model active listening skills. When your child talks about their feelings, give them your full attention. This shows that you value their emotions and teaches them the importance of listening to others.

4. Build empathy: Teach empathy by discussing how others might feel in different situations. You can use real-life examples or stories to help your child understand different perspectives. Encourage them to put themselves in others' shoes.

5. Teach problem-solving skills: Help children develop problem-solving skills by asking open-ended questions. Encourage them to think through issues and brainstorm solutions. This helps them learn to address their emotions and conflicts in a constructive way.

6. Encourage mindfulness and relaxation: Introduce mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or guided imagery, to help children manage stress and anxiety. These practices can enhance their emotional awareness and regulation.

7. Enable conflict resolution: Teach children how to resolve conflicts peacefully and constructively. Model effective conflict resolution in your own relationships, and encourage them to find mutually agreeable solutions when they have disagreements with friends or siblings.

Remember that fostering emotional intelligence is an ongoing process, and each child is unique. Be patient and adapt your approach to your child's individual needs and developmental stage. Encourage open communication, and create a safe and supportive environment for your child to express their emotions and explore their emotional intelligence.

References

Billings, C. E., Downey, L. A., Lomas, J. E., Lloyd, J., & Stough, C. (2014). Emotional Intelligence and scholastic achievement in pre-adolescent children. Personality and Individual Differences, 65, 14-18.

Buckley, M., Storino, M., & Saarni, C. (2003). Promoting emotional competence in children and adolescents: Implications for school psychologists. School Psychology Quarterly, 18(2), 177.

Budak, Y., & Arslan, M. (2013). Emotional intelligence and importance for children. Journal of International Management Educational and Economics Perspectives, 1(2), 1-14.

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence. New York: Bantam.

Grayson, R. (2013). Emotional intelligence: A summary.

Graziano, P. A., Reavis, R. D., Keane, S. P., & Calkins, S. D. (2007). The role of emotion regulation in children's early academic success. Journal of school psychology, 45(1), 3-19.

Irvin, J. L., & Richardson, T. L. (2002). The importance of emotional intelligence during transition into middle school. Middle School Journal, 33(3), 55-58.

Mavroveli, S., & Sánchez‐Ruiz, M. J. (2011). Trait emotional intelligence influences on academic achievement and school behaviour. British Journal of Educational Psychology, 81(1), 112-134.

Paavola, L. E. (2017). The importance of emotional intelligence in early childhood.

Rohaizad, N. A. A. & Kosnin, A. M. (2014). Importance of cultivating emotional intelligence in children. Jurnal Teknologi (Sciences and Engineering), 67(1), 45-49.

Thümmler, R., Engel, E. M., & Bartz, J. (2022). Strengthening Emotional Development and Emotion Regulation in Childhood—As a Key Task in Early Childhood Education. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(7), 3978.