Healthy relationships are good for your health

Decades of psychological research have established that healthy, close relationships, such as marriage, are good for your wellbeing (Ditzen, Halhweg, Fehm-Wolfsdorf & Baucom, 2011). Psychological literature has long demonstrated that people in happy, stable marriages are healthier overall and live longer than single people. However, more recent research has extended these findings to people in long-term committed relationships, finding similar health benefits even for those who are unmarried (Robles, Slatcher, Trombello & McGinn, 2014; Stanton & Campbell, 2014).

Importantly though, these benefits only extend to healthy relationships. Those in unhealthy relationships do not enjoy the benefits that a close social relationship can offer. In fact, people who have been divorced demonstrate worse health outcomes than single people, completely negating the health benefits they may have once experienced (Parker-Pope, 2010). This research has even gone so far as to find that unhealthy relationships are associated with a number of health problems including higher risk for cardiovascular disease and cancer (Parker-Pope, 2010; Stanton & Campbell, 2014). Altogether these findings point to the need to develop and maintain healthy, close social relationships and how important these relationships can be for your physical and psychological wellbeing.

The link between unhealthy relationships and physical health

Unhealthy relationships have been found to more frequently activate the body’s stress response. Conflict and hostile social interactions have been associated with increased release of cortisol, the stress hormone (Ditzen et al., 2011; Stanton & Campbell, 2014). Increased stress is related to negative physical and psychological outcomes and points to the need for positive communication and conflict resolution (Ditzen et al., 2011; Stanton & Campbell, 2014). Better social support from a close partner also aids in the ability to cope with stress and respond to stressful situations when they arise.

Another important finding in the relationship between unhealthy relationships and physical health is that people in unhealthy relationships have a weaker immune response than those in healthy relationships. Conflict and hostile interactions were also associated with poorer immune response, pointing again to the importance of healthy conflict resolution and reduced hostility in interactions (Parker-Pope, 2010).

What makes a relationship healthy?

The ability to resolve conflict in a manner that based on good communication is crucial. One major factor in defining healthy conflict resolution is a positive mood during the conversation. Negative affect, or mood, during conflict resolution has been found to predict later instability within the relationship (Young, 2004).

Effective communication between partners is another major factor in determining if a relationship is healthy (Young, 2004). Importantly, it is not the amount of communication that is core to this but the quality and the nature of the communication (Moore et al., 2004). Positive communication is characterised by respect and compromise and this underlies a healthy relationship.

Other important factors in defining a healthy relationship are intimacy, positive interactions and time spent together. Intimacy has especially been found to depend largely on mutual trust within the relationship (Young, 2004). Similar to communication, it is not simply the amount of interaction with your partner but the quality of that interaction (Moore et al., 2004). A large number of negative interactions will not contribute to a healthy relationship.

Finally, spending quality time together is a major predictor of a healthy relationship. Positive interactions and the enjoyment of time together is essential, more important than the specific ways that time is spent (Moore et al., 2004). It is not so much the activity that matters but interactions and communication during the activity. An activity that involves negative interactions or arguments will not contribute to a positive time spent together and is not characteristic of a healthy relationship.

Lastly, according to psychological research, commitment to the relationship is a significant determining factor in a healthy relationship (Moore et al., 2004). When both partners commit to making the relationship work, many of the other factors mentioned here are more likely to be present. For example, commitment to the relationship may foster positive communication as both partners want the relationship to work and do not want to say anything that would hurt the other person.

Practical tips for a healthy relationship

Taking all this research into account, here are seven factors that are essential in a healthy relationship that can be practically applied in your own relationships:

1. Effective Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial. Partners should be able to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, and also be good listeners.

2. Mutual Respect: Partners should respect each other's individuality, opinions, and boundaries. Disagreements should be handled respectfully without belittling or demeaning each other.

3. Trust: Trust forms the foundation of a healthy relationship. Both partners should feel secure in each other's loyalty, honesty, and intentions.

4. Emotional Support: Partners should offer emotional support, empathy, and understanding to one another during both good times and challenging moments.

5. Healthy Conflict Resolution: Disagreements are normal, but healthy couples handle conflicts constructively. They communicate openly, listen actively, and work together to find solutions.

6. Physical Intimacy and Affection: Physical intimacy, including cuddling, holding hands, and other affectionate gestures, is important for maintaining emotional connection and bonding.

7. Quality Time: Spending quality time together, engaging in shared activities and experiences, helps to strengthen the emotional bond between partners.

Incorporating this advice into your relationship will help to ensure that you are best able to reap the benefits of a healthy relationship. However, it is important to remember that every relationship is unique, and while these factors can provide some help, the specific dynamic needs of each couple may differ.

References

Ditzen, B., Hahlweg, K., Fehm-Wolfsdorf, G., & Baucom, D. (2011). Assisting couples to develop healthy relationships: Effects of couples relationship education on cortisol. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 36(5), 597-607.

Moore, K. A., Jekielek, S. M., Bronte-Tinkew, J., Guzman, L., Ryan, S., & Redd, Z. (2004). What is' healthy marriage?'Defining the concept. Child trends research brief, 16, 1-8.

Parker-Pope, T. (2010). Is marriage good for your health. New York Times, 14(04), 2010.

Stanton, S. C., & Campbell, L. (2014). Psychological and physiological predictors of health in romantic relationships: An attachment perspective. Journal of personality, 82(6), 528-538.

Robles, T. F., Slatcher, R. B., Trombello, J. M., & McGinn, M. M. (2014). Marital quality and health: a meta-analytic review. Psychological bulletin, 140(1), 140.

Young, M. A. (2004). Healthy relationships: Where’s the research?. The Family Journal, 12(2), 159-162.