Parenting Styles

The way you parent your children has a huge impact on their developmental outcomes. This is true for early childhood, through adolescence and their late teenage years. How you parent is referred to as your parenting style, and this has been found to impact children’s social development, their school achievement and even influences later career outcomes. Parenting styles have an influence on all aspects of a child’s development including their emotional, cognitive and social development, which means it is essential to parent your child in a way that best supports and promotes this development (Kopko, 2007; Mensah & Alfred, 2013).

It is often difficult to balance this desire to support a child’s development with the need to maintain a level of control over a child’s behaviour, often due to safety concerns. For example, it may be necessary to restrict your child’s freedom to play outside because of concerns about the safety of your neighbourhood. Psychological research outlines two main dimensions of parenting that contribute to your overall parenting style: parental warmth, or responsiveness, and parental control, or demandingness (Bornstein & Bornstein, 2007; Kopko, 2007).

Parental control/demandingness refers to the amount of control a parent has over their child’s behaviour. It refers to the amount of parental supervision, the setting of rules and discipline taken when these rules are broken (Bornstein & Bornstein, 2007; Kopko, 2007). The other dimension, parental warmth/responsiveness, is the degree of support and acceptance provided to a child. It refers to actions that allow a child to become an individual and assert themselves, and indicates that the parent is responsive and attentive (Bornstein & Bornstein, 2007; Kopko, 2007).

Parenting styles

Parenting styles are defined by the balance between these two dimensions. Psychological literature has defined four main parenting styles differing by their degree of warmth and control: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved or neglectful parenting styles.

The authoritarian style

The first style, authoritarian, is characterised by high levels of control but low levels of warmth (Bornstein & Bornstein, 2007; Kopko, 2007). These parents are strict and restrictive in their parenting style. They punish rule-breaking harshly and enforce strict rules and standards, while showing little support and acceptance to their children (Bornstein & Bornstein, 2007; Kopko, 2007). Authoritarian parents tend to assert their power over their children and favour obedience over self-will (Mensah & Alfred, 2013).

The permissive style

In contrast, permissive parents show high warmth but little control. They are very accepting and allow their children to do as they please, and view themselves as available to help but allow their child to make most important decisions (Kopko, 2007). Permissive parents often do not say no to their children and impose few rules and boundaries (Kopko, 2007). They do not frequently punish their children and allow them to regulate themselves and their own activities for the most part. They believe that too much control and authority over their children will result in negative outcomes (Mensah & Alfred, 2013).

The authoritative style

Authoritative parents show a balance of high control but also high warmth (Bornstein & Bornstein, 2007). They are firm in their parenting style but also responsive to their child’s needs. They allow their children to be independent while maintaining rules and boundaries. They also allow their children to express themselves and have input and opinions, but ultimately make the final decision when it comes to responsible behaviour (Kopko, 2007). These parents encourage autonomy and self-will and often discuss the reasoning behind implementing rules and demands with their child(Mensah & Alfred, 2013). This style encourages independence, self-discipline, and open communication between parents and children.

The uninvolved style

Finally, neglectful or uninvolved parents are low in warmth and low in control. They spend little time with their children and place very few demands on their behaviour. Uninvolved parents’ behaviour is characterised by a lack of interest in what their child is doing, where they are going, what they are interested in, or their experiences.

As mentioned, all these parenting styles are associated with different developmental outcomes for children. However, it is generally accepted that the best social developmental and achievement outcomes in children are seen with parents who use an authoritative parenting style (Mensah & Alfred, 2013; Kuppens & Ceulemans, 2019). At the opposite end, a neglectful or uninvolved parenting style has been found to result in the worst developmental outcomes (Mensah & Alfred, 2013; Kuppens & Ceulemans, 2019). Both permissive and authoritarian styles are also associated with negative outcomes.

The compelling case for authoritative parenting

Children of authoritative parents have been found to show the greatest social competency in early childhood and adolescence. They have better relationships with their peers, indulge in less risky behaviour, such as drug use, and show greater emotional adjustment and well-being as teenagers and adults (Bornstein & Bornstein, 2007). These children also show greater academic achievement at school and university. This overall greater adjustment was found when children of authoritative parents were compared to all other parenting styles, indicating that an authoritative is associated with the best outcomes for children.

Following this, here are seven ways you can adopt an authoritative parenting style:

1. Show Unconditional Love and Support: Make sure your child knows you love and support them, regardless of their behavior or achievements.

2. Set Clear Expectations: Establish clear and consistent rules and expectations for behavior. Make sure your child understands the consequences of their actions, both positive and negative.

3. Encourage Independence: Allow your child to make age-appropriate decisions and take on responsibilities. Encouraging independence helps them develop problem-solving skills and self-confidence.

4. Open Communication: Foster open and honest communication with your child. Listen actively to their thoughts and feelings, and encourage them to express themselves without fear of punishment.

5. Offer Choices: Give your child opportunities to make choices within boundaries. This empowers them and allows them to develop decision-making skills.

6. Consistent Discipline: Use logical consequences that are related to the behavior in question. Avoid harsh punishment and focus on teaching lessons through consequences.

7. Recognize Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate your child's accomplishments, whether big or small. Positive reinforcement boosts their self-esteem and encourages continued positive behavior.

Remember, adopting an authoritative parenting style is about finding the right balance between being supportive and setting boundaries. It's important to tailor your approach to your child's personality, age, and individual needs. Flexibility and adaptability are key to successful parenting.

References

Bornstein, L., & Bornstein, M. H. (2007). Parenting styles and child social development. Encyclopedia on early childhood development. Montreal: Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Development and Strategic Knowledge Cluster on Early Child Development.

Kopko, K. (2007). Parenting styles and adolescents. Ithaca, NY: Cornell University.

Kuppens, S., & Ceulemans, E. (2019). Parenting styles: A closer look at a well-known concept. Journal of child and family studies, 28, 168-181.

Mensah, M. K., & Kuranchie, A. (2013). Influence of parenting styles on the social development of children. Academic Journal of Interdisciplinary Studies, 2(3), 123.