The importance and function of family rituals and routines in healthy development

Family rituals and routines play an important role in shaping the emotional and psychological well-being of individuals from early childhood through to adulthood. These practices are central to fostering a sense of stability, predictability, and togetherness within the family unit (Crespo et al., 2013). Family routines and rituals have also been found to help shield family members from the resulting negative consequences of problems such as alcoholism within the family or issues associated with divorce (Crespo et al., 2013; Kiser, Bennett, Heston & Paavola, 2005). It is therefore important to understand how family rituals and routines can contribute to overall wellbeing, positive development and improved family functioning, as well as to an individual’s own positive identity.

Understanding family rituals and routines

Although there is some overlap, routines and rituals differ in important ways in their definition, importance, and function within the family context. Both family rituals and routines are predictable events that involve a specific pattern of interactions between family members (Crespo et al., 2013).

Family rituals, however, are symbolic actions, behaviours or activities that hold special significance for the family identity (Crespo, Davide, Costa & Fletcher, 2008). These actions can be religious, cultural, or even personal and are often repeated on specific occasions or in response to certain events. Common family rituals include celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and weddings (Crespo, Davide, Costa & Fletcher, 2008). Family rituals are often central to the family identity and involve the sharing and creation of family memories (Crespo, Davide, Costa & Fletcher, 2008; Smit, 2006).

Family routines, on the other hand, refer to the structured and repetitive activities that families engage in regularly. They are predictable and ongoing, but lack the symbolic significance of family rituals (Denham, 2002). These activities are essential for maintaining order and providing a sense of predictability within the family environment. Examples of family routines include mealtimes, bedtime routines, homework time, and teeth brushing time.  

The key distinctions between rituals and routines lie in their intent, symbolic significance and importance for family cohesion and togetherness (Spagnola & Fiese, 2007). Family rituals are characterised by their emotional and symbolic value, often associated with deep connections between different generations of family members and the broader family network, while routines are primarily functional in nature, focusing on maintaining daily order and structure (Smit, 2006).

Importantly, there is some overlap between these concepts as family rituals involve routine behaviours and both involve patterned interactions between members. Routines can also become rituals when they take on the symbolic and emotional significance associated with rituals (Viere, 2001). For example, mealtime and bedtime routines often become rituals due to the family togetherness, communication, and emotional significance associated with these routines (Smit, 2006; Viere, 2001).

Importance of family rituals and routines

Family rituals and routines play an important role in many aspects of family and individual functioning. They are important for promoting family identity and cohesion, emotional development, facilitating communication and they provide stability during childhood and adolescent development (Yoon, 2012). At an individual level, family routines and rituals are also associated with improved language development, academic achievement and social skills development (Spagnola & Fiese, 2007). They also provide a sense of family stability and even marital or relationship stability for parents in times of transition and difficulty (Kiser, Bennett, Heston & Paavola, 2005; Spagnola & Fiese, 2007)

Both rituals and routines contribute to emotional stability by creating a secure and predictable environment for family members, particularly for children. Knowing what to expect provides a sense of security and comfort, helping individuals to better manage stress and anxiety (Crespo et al., 2013; Kiser, Bennett, Heston & Paavola, 2005). Rituals, in particular, play a crucial role in emotional functioning as they provide a platform for expressing and sharing emotions.

During challenging times such as when a family member experiences a chronic disease or addiction or substance dependency/abuse, the presence of family rituals and routines can be crucial. These rituals provide a sense of normalcy and a way to navigate emotional challenges (Crespo et al., 2013). For example, regular family meetings can help open lines of communication, enabling family members to discuss challenges and support each other.

Bedtime and mealtime rituals and routines

Bedtime and mealtime routines are important as they can easily become ritualised through the importance they hold for family interactions, communication, and development. These routines can take on symbolic meaning for family members as they become a time for sharing emotions and feelings, conflict resolution and communication, and quality family time (Evans & Rodger, 2008).

Bedtime rituals are an essential part of a child's daily routine, and they contribute significantly to a child's emotional development. Activities like reading bedtime stories, saying goodnight prayers, or sharing reflections on the day provide a sense of security and emotional connection (Evans & Rodger, 2008). These rituals promote relaxation, enhance the parent-child bond, and help children process their thoughts and emotions before sleep.

Mealtime routines also offer an opportunity for families to come together and strengthen their emotional bonds and communication (Evans & Rodger, 2008). Sitting down for regular meals provides a platform for open communication, sharing experiences, and building a sense of belonging within the family unit.

Ways to incorporate rituals and routines into family life

As illustrated, incorporating family rituals and routines into your daily life can help strengthen family bonds, create a sense of stability, and provide opportunities for shared experiences. Here are seven practical ways to do so:

1. Family meals:

   - Designate specific times for family meals, whether it's breakfast, dinner, or weekends.

   - Make it a rule to gather at the table, turn off electronic devices, and focus on each other.

   - Use mealtimes as an opportunity for everyone to share their day or discuss interesting topics.

2. Weekly family activities:

   - Establish a regular family activity night, such as game night, movie night, or outdoor activities.

   - Rotate the responsibility of choosing the activity among family members to ensure everyone's interests are considered.

3. Bedtime routine:

   - Develop a consistent bedtime routine for children and adults alike.

   - Include activities like reading a book, sharing highlights of the day, or expressing gratitude before bedtime.

4. Family meetings:

   - Schedule regular family meetings to discuss upcoming events, address concerns, and plan activities.

   - Encourage open communication and active participation from all family members.

5. Celebrating traditions:

   - Identify and celebrate family traditions, whether they're related to holidays, birthdays, or cultural events.

   - Create new traditions that hold meaning for your family and provide a sense of continuity.

6. Weekend rituals:

   - Since most family members have fewer responsibilities over the weekend, it’s a good time to establish weekend rituals, such as a Saturday morning breakfast together or a Sunday afternoon walk.

   - Use weekends as an opportunity for family outings or adventures.

7. Chores as a team:

   - Assign age-appropriate chores to each family member, emphasising the importance of teamwork.

   - Schedule a specific time for chores, turning them into a routine that everyone can contribute to.

Remember that the key to successful family rituals and routines is consistency. By incorporating these practices into your family life, you can create a supportive and nurturing environment for everyone involved.

References

Crespo, C., Davide, I. N., Costa, M. E., & Fletcher, G. J. (2008). Family rituals in married couples: Links with attachment, relationship quality, and closeness. Personal Relationships, 15(2), 191-203.

Crespo, C., Santos, S., Canavarro, M. C., Kielpikowski, M., Pryor, J., & Féres-Carneiro, T. (2013). Family routines and rituals in the context of chronic conditions: A review. International Journal of Psychology, 48(5), 729-746.

Evans, J., & Rodger, S. (2008). Mealtimes and bedtimes: Windows to family routines and rituals. Journal of Occupational Science, 15(2), 98-104.

Kiser, L. J., Bennett, L., Heston, J., & Paavola, M. (2005). Family ritual and routine: Comparison of clinical and non-clinical families. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 14, 357-372.

Smit, R. (2011). Maintaining family memories through symbolic action: Young adults’ perceptions of family rituals in their families of origin. Journal of Comparative Family Studies, 42(3), 355-367.

Spagnola, M., & Fiese, B. H. (2007). Family routines and rituals: A context for development in the lives of young children. Infants & young children, 20(4), 284-299.

Yoon, Y. (2012). The role of family routines and rituals in the psychological well-being of emerging adults.